RESOURCES

St. Agnes Resources, Orientation and Visitations

Resources to Help You and Your Loved One Adjust

Moving your loved one into any healthcare or rehabilitation facility is a decision that most people find very difficult. The transition from living at home to requiring nursing home care has often been prompted by a deterioration in either mental or physical state, or both.  No matter the reason, most relatives still feel guilty. The following tips can help your loved one adjust successfully to the move. You may find the move helps you, too, freeing you to spend quality time with your family member.

Do you need Dementia Training? Does your loved one need Wound Care, etc. The Services provided by St. Agnes are listed on the “Services” page of the website.

Help Them Settle In

It is important for caregivers to be actively involved in helping a loved one settle into a new home. If it is the policy of a nursing home to ask relatives to stop visiting for a week or two after admission, there is reason for concern. It does not take much imagination to think how it would feel if you suddenly found yourself in a new home with people you do not know. These policies are often for the staff rather than your relative. Only in very rare cases, possibly if you find your visits causing violence and aggression, should you temporarily stop visits. If you are asked, it should be by the doctor in charge of the medical care.

Visit Frequently

Visiting on a regular basis helps with the transition from home to nursing care placement. Your loved one will see you still love and care about them. It also shows the staff you do care and they know you appreciate what they are doing. You can monitor your relatives progress and be actively involved in care decisions. You can also provide the medical, nursing, and occupational staff important information. You become a member of a very important team.

When to Visit

Plan Your Visit for the best times in their day. Our lives are so busy it might seem like a good idea to drop by when your schedule allows. But this might result in an unsuccessful visit because you could catch your older adult at a bad time. If you’re not sure when a good time would be, call ahead and speak with someone on staff who is familiar with your loved one.
Generally, older adults have the most energy in the morning or right after lunch. Also, sharing a meal can give you both something to do together. Your good company or help with the food could even boost their appetite.
Or, you could ask your older adult directly what time and day would be best for them and if they need you to bring anything for them. That way, they’ll know when to expect you and will look forward to the visit. Be sure to follow through and show up when you say you will so they won’t be disappointed and will know that they can count on you.

Length of Visit

Be mindful of the length of the visit and number of visitors. There is no standard “right” length of time for a visit with your older adult. It will depend on your relationship, their health condition and their energy level that day.
During the visit, pay attention to signs that they’re getting tired or agitated. For some people, especially those with dementia, shorter visits might work better. Others may enjoy longer visits where you have more time to enjoy activities together. In general, it’s more meaningful and easier to handle visits from one or two people at a time. A dozen people visiting at once can be overwhelming for anyone.

There is no standard “right” length of time for a visit with your older adult. It will depend on your relationship, their health condition and their energy level that day.

Prepare for the Visit

Think about the visit ahead of time.  Plan activities and conversation topics.  Even if you know the person well, it helps if you prepare conversation starters and activity ideas ahead of time. This reduces worries about what to say or do and will minimize stress for you.

Seniors love to go back to a previous time. Think about their lives when they were younger, past careers or current interests. Even if the visit is mostly you making conversation, you’ll feel better knowing that the discussion is relevant to your older adult. And, do be a Good Listener. Respect their stories and their willingness to share their life with you.
Do you best to avoid bringing up painful memories. But if your loved one wants to talk about something in their past, let them reminisce. Talking through it may help them put things in perspective or come to terms with what happened.

Don't forget the Greeting!

When you arrive, always begin with a warm greeting. You will set the tone for the visit. Make eye contact, smile and give a warm hug.  Don’t just stand towering over someone in a wheelchair or in bed. Sit at a comfortable level for our loved one. Relax and remain calm.  Older adults are more easily distracted or agitated by a noisy or busy environment. It also makes it harder for them to hear you and participate in a conversation. When you visit, lower the volume or turn off TVs, radios or other background noise. If you’re in a busy common room, move to a quieter, more private space. If there aren’t any quiet spaces inside, go for a walk outside to enjoy a peaceful moment together.

Effective and respectful communication is essential for any visit. Address and treat your older adult and other residents as adults, not children. Even if they’ve lost physical or mental abilities, they still deserve respect.

Hearing loss is very common among older adults, so make sure they can hear you. You might need to raise your voice slightly or and speak clearly. But don’t shout or yell, that’s more difficult to hear.

It’s also a good practice to make it clear that you’re glad to be there. That means not fidgeting with belongings or frequently checking your phone or watch. If possible, turn your phone to silent mode so nothing interrupts your time together.
Do keep the conversation positive, and avoid arguing or upsetting them. This is especially important when visiting seniors with dementia.

Many older adults no longer get the benefit of human touch. If you know them well or have gotten their consent, show affection with hugs, holding hands or stroking their arm or back. Older adults can be fragile.  Be gentle until you know what suits them.

Encourage Participation in Activities

Research shows that people with dementia place value on making a contribution and helping other people out. For people in care homes it allows them to return to the valuable roles they had prior to their placement. Cheering up others, using talents for joke telling, playing a piano, singing, helping others with choosing and eating food, helps to give life meaning.

Encourage Social Interaction Inside and Outside the Nursing Home

Keep up visits outside the nursing home wherever possible. Any interests, such as visiting gardens and parks, shopping, visits to relatives and friends, can continue. It is probably a good idea that you return to outside visits once your loved one has settled into their new home. Caregivers often have more energy to take their loved one out once they no longer have full responsibility for their day-to-day care

Consider Volunteering your Time, Skills and Help

It is wonderful for staff and other nursing home residents to have contact with people who have no one to visit them. If you play a musical instrument, can help in activities such as painting sessions, it is nice to help entertain residents. You will make many new friends. Relax! Many people worry about visiting a nursing facility fearing awkward moments.  Invite your friends to visit your loved one and to volunteer with you for some enjoyable activities.

Adjust your expectations and make the visit about Them! Some people might not want to visit an older adult in assisted living or a nursing home because it makes them feel depressed, sad or guilty. It helps to refocus the intention behind the visit – it’s about them, not you.

Your visit is important.  It lets them know that they haven’t been forgotten by family and friends. Moreover, regular visits allow you to check in on them.

It’s also important to adjust your expectations for what a successful visit really is. Be prepared for times when your older adult doesn’t respond with excitement or actively participate in the conversation. This is to be expected.

You are an Active Participant in Your Loved One’s Care

Assisting your relative with whatever tasks you wish to continue is encouraged.  Take them for a walk if they are able. If you are involved in helping to plan their nursing care then you can always help with some of the programs.
9. Act as an Advocate for a Loved One with Dementia
Acting as an advocate for a relative with dementia, for example, will help ensure they get the best treatment, care and live a rewarding and happy life for as long as possible.

Don’t avoid a person with dementia. Learning the Do’s and Don’ts will help a great deal.   St. Agnes provides Dementia Training.

When visiting someone with dementia, it may feel scary because you don’t know how they’ll act or how you should behave. When you see how different they are from the person you once knew, you might feel strong emotions. The best thing to do is to stay calm. Focus on the good you’re doing for them, and give yourself time to adjust to this new experience.
Simple, low-key activities are your best bet for an enjoyable visit with someone who has dementia. That includes looking through old photos, listening to their favorite music and taking a gentle walk.

Remember, St. Agnes Cares.  Let us help you settle your loved one into a wonderful, peaceful life that will maximize their physical, emotional and mental condition.
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